As don Juan Mateus says, ( i paraphrase ) times of great change can be felt as a “killing anxiety”
There is so much anxiety running rampant on the earth at present. Waves upon waves of it are swirling about, looking for handholds in our fields of light. Simple things can set off a dozen triggers in a second. An injury can trigger fears of not having insurance, of whether or not I can afford to seek medical attention, of how long I can remain out of the regular workplace with its security of insurance, of how I have no social security nor retirement to fall back upon, how long will my savings hold out, of will I be ok, will I have basic food and shelter, will I end up alone? These are all fears that I have faced and neutralized yet they can spring up in a moment and feel overwhelming in their intensity. Our basic sense of survival is being lit up as the economy and present system sway and collapse, as a result of the incoming energies. We are attempting to find a foothold in the new land where we know all security is found within and abundance is our birthright. We are being compressed from every side, our fears being squeezed out into the light of day. Only then, can we release them. It is a time to call upon our angels and one another for assistance.
The past few days, I watched self-judgment stroll in, asking what I am doing. “Why haven’t you written that book? Why are you not painting every day? Why are you not taking advantage of this time to get something done? ” Quite a colorful chorus. I would breathe deeply and move back to observer mode, witnessing the parade. It made me feel slow and heavy, permeated my being.
This morning, the judgment lifted. One moment, I was answering emails, the next, I fell into an opening and began to cry. I knew not why. I sat with the tears to see where they sprang from. They were not sad, no rather they became sobs of joy. My heart cleared and I knew that I had bloomed, my being had blossomed into a flower of great beauty. Oh my! I saw hearts blossoming all across the earth. So many varieties and colors, it was magnificent. As we blossom, we emit a fragrance and a tone that is our energy signature. Oh, the sweetness! Sounds and smells and visuals surrounded me as the earth became a field of flowers such as I had never seen. It was a continuous motion of flowering, like those videos that fast forward a plant’s growth. Dazzling. The greatest aspect was in that blossoming, I knew myself as part of the whole. A unique fragrance and tone to be sure, yet one with everyone and everything. This truth was known by all as soon as they flowered. We opened to the oneness and wonder of unity.
I knew then that the anxiety and feelings of compression were catalysts that allowed the blossoming to take place. We had to come to that point of feeling we were ready to burst out of our skins. I had reached that as I had felt so flat, so done with the old, no juice left in any idea that I could come up with. No desire to create in this old world, and so tired of waiting for the new to manifest. All of that ran through my system in anxiety, self-judgment, compression, stuckness. Suddenly, it all ran free as if a dam had broken and I could once again flow. I was struck by the perfection of it all. Over and over, I am shown how I am loved. How carefully my life has been crafted to lead me to awaken to my own beauty. Every hardship, every sorrow and pain, every day of lying on my couch, all opening me to this flowering. My gratitude is immense as I rest in the feeling of offering my blossoming self to the Creator with all the love that I am. Now I will tone my tone throughout my cells, bringing all into harmony so as to emanate my note into the ethers, the earth, the grids of light. I will breathe my fragrance out with each breath, swooning in its heady perfume.
As I sit within my blossoming heart, inhaling my own sweet perfume, I hold this knowing deep, that all will blossom. You cannot know the joy that sets alight in my heart! I stand witness for the unfurling of each one’s petals, and breathe in the sweetness of those fully opened, knowing that all is well in this new world of ours. We are so loved. We ARE love.