For the first time in a year of visioning and blogging I did not post last Monday nor did I give any explanation of why I did not. As you might imagine, I was not not sitting idly on a couch eating bon-bons. No, I was rather busy raising my own personal "white flag of surrender" to my process of humanity's conversion from carbon-based beings to crystalline ones.
Black Elk 1863-1950
The great Sioux shaman Black Elk speaks of “walking in a sacred manner.” To walk in a sacred manner is to make an art of life, to attend to each moment as though it were the last, to take each step as though it were the first.
To breathe love and awareness into this fragile body, entering the greater body we all are a part of. Knowing that each step must be taken lightly, not with force, not creating more SELF, more ego, not becoming more of a “doer,” more of a separate identity, that draws suffering upon itself. To walk in a sacred manner is to let go of our suffering and allow the scintillating “divinity” of each moment to nurture and direct the next step.
When we walk in a sacred manner, nothing throws us off balance for nothing is identified with self. As the walker in the Sacred, all is experienced as the sacred, as process unfolding, as the divine moment provided for our healing. In open body, in open mind, in open heart, the possibilities are endless. Healing is to be found everywhere. Each step so precious. Each step a new possibility.”
Excelsior Geyser basin on the Firehole River -West Yellowstone.
In the early 80s i was driving along the road south of Madison, Wyoming approaching the Midway Geyser basin in a magical spot called Excelsior.
As i looked to my right i saw the outline of two gray hills. The feeling of deja vu washed over me as i took in this awesome scenery where the river actually runs hot for maybe a quarter of a mile. I felt deep in my soul that these 2 hills, which set the backdrop for what was to become a powerful soul memory, sparked the deja vu, a knowing that i had been here before in another life.
Fifteen years passed. I was active in a Toltec spiritual group called the “Circle of Fire”. Don Miguel Ruiz was the leader of the group in the late 90s. Miguel told me i needed to do a vision quest because i was carrying much sadness and that i might consider going somewhere and let the earth take my sadness.
My first thought was that i would go to Yellowstone even though it was 900 miles away. I planned my trip weeks in advance but i had forgotten about Excelsior in particular, the river and the two gray hills. I just knew this area was where i needed to go to let the earth take my sadness.
When i arrived at Yellowstone, America’s first National Park i went straight to the Old Faithful Geyser and sat on one of the benches awaiting the next scheduled eruption which happens hourly, pretty much like clockwork, sending a plume of steaming water nearly 100 ft. skyward.
Yellowstone Park encompasses about 3500 sq. miles and is bigger than Delaware and Rhode Island combined. So it takes awhile to drive around the loop road inside the park. Not having a clear memory of what the area i was looking for would be like, i decided i would have to go on my subtle feelings.
Before leaving home i had written two intentions on the back of a friends business card and stuck it in the ash tray compartment of my pick-up truck. The words went something like “find a spot to let the earth take my sadness” and “find an eagle feather”( after years of traisping around the rocky mountains i had never found an eagle feather and i just wanted to find one and at the same time test my intent, as if i might be so bold as to add this test to the short list.
From Old faithful it was a toss up as to wether to go east on the loop or head west. I instinctively chose west and soon came to the Excelsior basin. I had closed down the internal dialogue and just was cruising thru the forest on a kind of auto pilot. When i came to Excelsior i was flooded by deep feelings that i can only describe as memories coursing through my veins. It was powerful and palpable and at the same time invigorating and other worldly. I had never felt so connected to the earth and to Spirit. I decided to keep driving to see what would happen. At that point i was using my body as a divining rod or if you will, a homing device.
A few miles later the feelings that had been so intense started to diminish. When i reached Madison Junction only 15 miles to the North the feelings completely vanished. I decided to turn around and head back to Excelsior. The feelings flooded back into my body as i again got closer to this familiar spot. That confirmed to me i had found my place and the earth was calling in it’s power to help me with my intent.
I parked my truck and walked out into a meadow a ways away from the crowds that were coming and going at the boardwalk up near the geyser pools. I had this meadow all to myself. So i walked around till i found a perfect spot to do my ceremony away from where i would be noticed by others.
I sat on the ground and put my hands flat on the earth beside me. I sat there for what must have been two hours when i started to hear the sound of ponies running across the meadow, then i heard children laughing and playing down by the river, visions of a tipi village floated in and out of my awareness. All of a sudden i felt as if someone was pouring a hot viscous liquid into the top of my head. This fluid like substance moved slowly down my skull, neck, into my chest, trunk and flowed out my my hands and feet and was somehow absorbed by the earth.
I have no concept of how long this went on but later i deduced i must have sat there for about two hours. When i finally got up i realized i had been sitting on a fairly large mound of obsidian shards. Obsidian is thought to sharpen the inner and outer vision by Native peoples.
I went to a campground an set up my tent. Alone that evening in my tent, i felt a strange emptiness inside me as i lay sleepless, the moon shining brightly overhead. I realized that the earth had taken my sadness from a lifetime i had spent on that meadow. I knew i could only fill that void that the ceremony had vacated by calling in all the love i could feel for our mother. That is what i spent my night doing.
The next morning i got up and left Yellowstone. On the way back to my home in New Mexico i passed over a high plateau outside of Victor, Colorado, a road i had travelled hundreds of times before. Just as i passed an old artisian spring by the side of the road, that i had gone to regularily for drinking water, i saw an eagle feather sticking up out of the grass on the road embankment.
By the way, The latin word Excelsior means “ever upward” That IS what this journey and this life is all about,…..
Today i find myself in a place of detachment after what would once have been a distressing situation, but after awhile now having to deal with other people in their not so enlightened states, i find myself in a strange and foriegn state of mind. Carlos Castaneda describes this place on the assemblage point position so well , that i quote him here from “Losing the human form” : I woke up in the early morning hours with an unbearable pressure in my head. It was not a headache. It was rather a very intense weight in my ears. I felt it also on my eyelids and the roof of my mouth. I knew I was feverish, but the heat was only in my head. I made a feeble attempt to sit up. The thought crossed my mind that I was having a stroke. My first reaction was to call for help, but somehow I calmed down and tried to let go of my fear.
After a while, the pressure in my head began to diminish, but it also began to shift to my throat. I gasped for air- gagging and coughing for some time. The pressure moved slowly to my chest, then to my stomach, to my groin, to my legs, and to my feet before it finally left my body.
Whatever had happened to me had taken about two hours to unfold. During the course of those two grueling hours, it was as if something inside my body was actually moving downward; moving out of me. I fancied it to be rolling up like a carpet. Another image that occurred to me was of a blob moving inside the cavity of my body.
I discarded that image in favor of the first because the feeling was of something being coiled within itself. Just like a carpet being rolled up, it became heavier and thus more painful as it went down. The two areas where the pain became excruciating were my knees and my feet, especially my right foot which remained hot for thirty-five minutes after all the pain and pressure had vanished.
La Gorda, upon hearing my report, said that this time for certain I had lost my human form; that I had dropped all my shields, or most of them. She was right. Without knowing how or even realizing what had happened, I found myself in a most unfamiliar state. I felt detached; unbiased.
It did not matter what la Gorda had done to me. It was not that I had forgiven her for her reproachable behavior with me. It was as if there had never been any betrayal. There was no overt or covert rancor left in me for la Gorda, or for anyone else.
What I felt was not a willed indifference, nor negligence to act. Neither was it alienation, nor even the desire to be alone. Rather, it was an alien feeling of aloofness; a capability of immersing myself in the moment, and of having no thoughts whatever about anything else.
People’s actions no longer affected me because I had no more expectations of any kind. A strange peace became the ruling force in my life. I felt I had somehow adopted one of the concepts of a warrior’s life- detachment.
La Gorda said that I had done more than adopt it. I had actually embodied it.
Don Juan and I had had long discussions on the possibility that someday I would do just that. He had said that detachment did not automatically mean wisdom, but that it was, nonetheless, an advantage because it allowed the warrior to pause momentarily to reassess situations; to reconsider positions. In order to use that extra moment consistently and correctly, however, he said that a warrior had to struggle unyieldingly for a lifetime.
I had despaired that I would never experience that feeling. As far as I could determine, there was no way to improvise it. It had been useless for me to think about its benefits, or to reason out the possibilities of its advent.
During the years I had known don Juan, I certainly experienced a steady lessening of personal ties with the world; but that had taken place on an intellectual plane. In my everyday life, I was unchanged until the moment I lost my human form.
I speculated with la Gorda that the concept of losing the human form refers to a bodily condition that besets the apprentice upon his reaching a certain threshold in the course of training.
Be that as it may, the end result of losing the human form for la Gorda and myself, oddly enough, was not only the sought-after and coveted sense of detachment, but also the fulfillment of our elusive task of remembering.
And again in this case, the intellect played a minimal part.
I was going to write an article on the Petty Tyrant as described by Carlos Castaneda from his association with the teachings of Don Juan. Then i came across this post by Denise LaFay and decided to repost it here:
I found this recently and wanted to share it — it’s by Carl Gustav Jung:
“There is no coming to consciousness without pain. People will do anything, no matter how absurd, in order to avoid facing their own soul. One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.”
Now isn’t that the truth! And by god don’t we know it now from having lived it for these many Ascension months and years!
Polarity or Duality resolution does not happen by denying that the Dark exists (or has existed and has done so at unseen levels of frequency in other dimensions etc.). It disappears from one’s self, one’s environment, one’s space and one’s focus once one has discovered it and acknowledged that it even exists, then begins to work on integrating it, transmuting it, taking all the nasty, punch, sting and power out of it and return “it” back to a natural state of pure energy or energetic neutrality. Remember Carlos Castaneda’s teacher Don Juan teaching him about ‘Petty Tyrants’ ? That’s what all this level of personal and collective and other dimensional inner Dark stuff is; varying levels of developed ‘Petty Tyrants’.
The “Darkness/Negativity” can be some old emotional wound any of us received (or gave) that we haven’t as yet dealt with and so, it grows in power over the years or decades or lives, increasingly demanding that we finally see it, dealt with it, and eventually transmute that wee tiny inner Petty Tyrant. Or it can be a larger, more well-developed chunk of personal inner stuff and junk that we haven’t dealt with yet. Or, it can be much larger, more well-developed energetic situation(s) in a family member(s) or other loved ones or friends or neighbors or co-workers etc. and it’s actually their stuff and junk but it’s partly your problem too because of the multiple leveled connections. Or, it could be a big honkin’ huge external being like a negative Reptilian or Draconian or demon or numerous other nonphysical beings and/or entities. Doesn’t matter really — they’re all just ‘Petty Tyrants’ of varying levels of development and potency and at this point does it even matter if it’s “yours” or not? It doesn’t matter to me and hasn’t for the past difficult but highly transformative and empowering fourteen Ascension years. It’s either a baby Petty Tyrant, or a mid-sized Petty Tyrant, or a full-blown, giant-sized monster from the freakin’ astral pit of hell Petty Tyrant, but in the end it’s all just unresolved stuff and junk that’s gotta go if one truly wants to continue evolving and utilizing these potent cosmic and galactic energies to do exactly that.
Moving right along…
So here we all are, halfway through the glorious extension period called the Nine Months — from 12-21-12 Winter Solstice and Great Expiration Date, through to the September 2013 Equinox. How many personal and/or bloodline and/or other people’s and/or other dimensional ‘Petty Tyrants’ have you transmuted just since 12-21-12? For those of us (Ascension-related Lightworkers) who excel at transmuting the collective septic tank stuff and junk for humanity in general, it’s been fairly interesting since 12-21-12. All kinds of homeless, displaced and very hungry astral critters floating around looking for either an escape route away from all this LIGHT or some lower frequency human to latch on to again to use parasitically to feed off energetically. And on top of all this continuing multidimensional shifting around business, we’ve been incrementally embodying increasing amounts of our higher frequency Selves into these physical bodies and personalities and awareness. I want to say something either brilliant or funny right here but I’m just as stunned by all this high magnificence and lowly misery and BS as the rest of you! Whatever… let’s just keep moving forward my friends and fellow Ascension journey-ers.
I sense the coming start of the Third Trimester — beginning on the June 2013 Solstice and running through to the September 2013 Equinox — will bring in with it some more very important “tools” for each of us in this amazing Process. Tools such as further embodying, which naturally gives us more and more Higher Awareness of things and from multiple perspectives or as I’ve called this in the past, Spherical Consciousness or Awareness. Or tools such as increased clairvoyance and other higher awareness tools of perception. And/or tools such as slipping out of linear time more and more until it feels “normal” to you. Or any number of other exciting new tools of perception and being. Due to those Stair Steps, which of these new “tools” you receive or have been receiving depends upon which Stair Step your currently on. What you’re experiencing and aware of today won’t be the same next week or next month because you are evolving and changing that quickly now so expect new and different tools to continue coming to you as you progress up those energy and consciousness Stair Steps.
Because it’s been a while since I last wrote anything, I wanted to let everyone know that I’m still around and breathing, haven’t been thrown in jail for anything, am not existing on Pluto, nor have I died! It’s just been really hard for me for multiple reasons since April 1st, 2013 (which I’ll explain about more in another article) but as of May 16th, 2013, the higher Energies have anchored into this physical dimension (in a very positive way I mean) and there are lots of great things unfolding that are just out of sight for a while longer but will be fully visible within this dimension very soon now. Promise.
May 20, 2013
Copyright © Denise Le Fay and TRANSITIONS, 2013. All Rights Reserved. You may copy and redistribute this material so long as you do not alter it in any way, the content remains complete, credit is given to the author and you include this copyright notice and link. http://deniselefay.wordpress.com
If you’re reading this, it’s likely that you’re familiar with the term and concept of vasana or ancient wound. The focus in this article is to provide a practical tool to assist and empower those who feel overwhelmed or incapacitated by these soul wounds. Know that you’re not alone. All awakening humans are experiencing vasanas to some degree. They’re a natural part of the Ascension/Transformation process, it’s crucial to understand that we must resolve these ancient wounds for our soul’s evolution. We absolutely can learn how to cope with and release these wounds.
Our souls are eternal, so we can do the work now or later, more rapidly or at a slower pace. It is our choice and we have already set the scene for our own evolution. There’s no time frame,set on the work. The work will indeed get done; it’s just a matter of whether or not you want to do it now. Because of the Ascension energies there’s added “support” energetically for the processing of these wounds at this time in the history of mankind. This available energy is more noticeable now in our daily lives; often distracting us and draining our resources. So many of us are lightworkers trying to be of service to the planet at this time, but it can be discouraging when an ancient wound rears up and forces our attention away from our service work.
We must trust and know that this is part of the process, and we have to decide to stand tall thru the pain and discomfort and get through it if we are going to actualize our true potential as light beings.
When experiencing an ancient wound it’s hard sometimes to look inward and to make that intentional connection with our higher self.
We are spirit beings having a human experience, as is so often stated. We are more vast than the human biological organism has the capacity to understand. Imagine you are in every molecule that comprises the universe and then beyond that. And that just about says how vast we are. But here on Earth, we lose the sense of that wonder. The good news is the higher self is available by way of our own minds, once we have summoned the connection.
While experiencing an vasana or ancient wound, however we experience it, we can all agree that it feels pretty darned crappy. These old, painful, often ugly, supressed aspects of ourselves can take our breath away. I have several previous blogs dedicated to this subject in one fashion or another. These techniques can be done anywhere with eyes open or closed, just make sure you’re seated or lying downn during the process.
•Acknowledge that you’re having this experience, and breathe deeply.
•Know and trust that you have the courage to get through it.
•Reach out to your higher self. Simply think or state out loud “Higher self, please be with me now.”
•Notice where in your body, and how you’re experiencing your wound.
•Ask your higher self to assist you in becoming the observer to your experience.
•See yourself as a witness standing to the side of your experience viewing it as a scene without judgment.
•Allow the wound to tell you what it needs. You could ask,“How can I help you heal?”
•Imagine the higher self/observer aspect of self giving the wound what it needs with unconditional love. It could be healing light, sound, a prayer, whatever feels right.
•Ask the wound if there’s anything else that can be done at this time to assist in its healing.
•Now ask that all aspects of self to be combined and integrated into a new whole and healthy you.
Releasing our wounding comes in layers. It’s important to be patient and kind with ourselves as we travel the terrain of this wild roller coaster ride of self healing. Know that our bodies are like a repository for all this life’s and our past life’s experiences. As an example, i had a vision several years ago as i was out walking one day. In the memory/vision i saw myself on horseback on a battlefield, another rider approached and suddenly i was impaled with a spear thru the chest. The last thing i felt in that experience was felt once more in THIS physical body as a deep searing pain that went completely through my chest and was felt in my back to the same intensity from that ancient wound. The pain was excruciating for sometime and then it diminished to a dull ache which lasted several days until i released the cellular memory of the past life event. Somehow we carry over these experiences from life to life as an energetic wound or vasana.
When working with these ancient woundings it is always good to affirm something like: I am open to love, to my growth and to the light of my spirit for healing these old wounds.
Blessings on the path, Crazywolf
Feeling this latest intense round of Solar bombardment? Ever feel your emotions change for no apparent reason? Unexplainable headaches? Maybe angry or hyper for no good reason? READ THIS!!! Also watch the video. It blew my mind. It’s very short and amazing. And disregard the shills, there’s far to much evidence to deny this. [link to http://www.carliniinstitute.com
Quoting link- “I have noticed in my own research that solar activity is known to influence human consciousness. Solar flares affect the Central Nervous System (stomach lining), all brain activity (including equilibrium), along with human behaviour and all psycho-physiological (mental-emotional-physical) response. Solar flares can cause us to be nervous, anxiousness, worrisome, jittery, dizzy, shaky, irritable, lethargic, exhausted, have short term memory problems and heart palpitations, feel nauseous, queasy, and to have prolonged head pressure and headaches. Do you have any of the above lately?”
IMHO, I think some people are more susceptible than others, us empaths get the brunt of the discomfort as this energy rolls thru us.